THE SELF-POISONER: PATTERNS OF SELF-INDUCED TOXICITY – THE AVENGER & “I’LL OUTLAST YOU” THE AVENGER
THE SELF-POISONER: PATTERNS OF SELF-INDUCED TOXICITY – THE AVENGER & “I’LL OUTLAST YOU”THE AVENGERMost people feel at times that they have been abused, neglected, and treated unfairly or even cruelly. The avenger invests enormous amounts of his energy seeking vengeance in one way or another. In this activity’s poisonous form, the avenger simply enjoys hurting other people, as if to lessen the pain he himself has experienced. Sometimes he chooses a career that can serve as an outlet for his vengeance. When he does his job well, someone else suffers in some way or is “brought to justice.” Or, the avenger may dwell on the misery of others as he futilely seeks satisfaction (nourishment) from other people’s misfortunes. He poisons himself further by a refusal to let go of past grievances. Any satisfaction he may receive is temporary, and ultimately the avenger is left empty again.“I’LL OUTLAST YOU”This is a frequent pattern in toxic marriages in which one or both partners are committed to a war to the finish. Having decided, for various reasons, that they can’t (i.e., won’t) dissolve the marriage, they engage in an ongoing campaign in which each seems interested in deliberately irritating the other. Their pattern is one of mutual frustration and vindictiveness.While the toxic interaction is obvious, the endless battle to which each partner commits himself is also a virulent self-poisoning process. The winner also loses. The one who may succeed in literally burying the other has paid an enormous price in the neglect of his own nourishment and growth.*75\350\8*
