For many pre-menopausal women the impact on, or total loss of fertility, often results in feelings of betrayal, loss, and depression. This is most extreme in women who have no child and had a desire to mother, or with women whose plans for a large family will now be unfulfilled. Most gynecological cancer specialists are very conscious of this and do all they can to preserve at least one ovary (to delay the onset of early menopause) or harvest the eggs prior to surgery. All doctors should discuss with you (and your partner) the range of options you have in preserving eggs pre-surgery, adoption, surrogacy and other child options. For some, however, this is not an option and a profound sense of loss is normal. Counseling may be helpful to help you readjust your earlier dreams, and explore other possibilities. Good counseling will help channel your energies and talents into other areas that will help achieve satisfaction and fulfillment. Partners and carers, however, should be sensitive to the grieving process, which may take time to work through, but is critical for the resumption of a fulfilling life. Most women at this time with this reaction can become quite self-absorbed and need to be mindful that the loss is just as great for their partner. Again, open communication is essential in working through this phase.
I was newly married when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and totally devastated that our dreams for a large family were shattered.
Children were not a consideration for me at all immediately after the diagnosis and treatment. At that point I was just happy to be alive, just wanting to get the first year over and done with. We now have our beautiful and greatly loved (adopted) daughter.
Marie
I was devastated at age 28 that a hysterectomy would remove my option to have a child. My doctor told us of surrogacy in the USA. It was this rather ‘unconventional’ information that kept me sane.
An email support group introduced me to a wonderful lady, who was to become our surrogate.
We are now the proud parents of a beautiful daughter.
Grace
Post-menopausal women, and women who have no desire to mother are often more pragmatic about removal of the womb and loss of fertility, although some may see it as a loss of their ‘femaleness’. Resumption of other life activities takes priority.
Regardless of our state of fertility, our ability to love, to nurture, to make a meaningful contribution to our world can still be achieved. We acknowledge that in the early stages of loss, the process of grieving is essential but distorts this thinking. In time, most women come to terms with the loss and put their energies into other pursuits.
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GYNECOLOGICAL CANCER: IMPACT ON FERTILITY AND CHILDBEARINGFor many pre-menopausal women the impact on, or total loss of fertility, often results in feelings of betrayal, loss, and depression. This is most extreme in women who have no child and had a desire to mother, or with women whose plans for a large family will now be unfulfilled. Most gynecological cancer specialists are very conscious of this and do all they can to preserve at least one ovary (to delay the onset of early menopause) or harvest the eggs prior to surgery. All doctors should discuss with you (and your partner) the range of options you have in preserving eggs pre-surgery, adoption, surrogacy and other child options. For some, however, this is not an option and a profound sense of loss is normal. Counseling may be helpful to help you readjust your earlier dreams, and explore other possibilities. Good counseling will help channel your energies and talents into other areas that will help achieve satisfaction and fulfillment. Partners and carers, however, should be sensitive to the grieving process, which may take time to work through, but is critical for the resumption of a fulfilling life. Most women at this time with this reaction can become quite self-absorbed and need to be mindful that the loss is just as great for their partner. Again, open communication is essential in working through this phase.I was newly married when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and totally devastated that our dreams for a large family were shattered.Children were not a consideration for me at all immediately after the diagnosis and treatment. At that point I was just happy to be alive, just wanting to get the first year over and done with. We now have our beautiful and greatly loved (adopted) daughter. Marie I was devastated at age 28 that a hysterectomy would remove my option to have a child. My doctor told us of surrogacy in the USA. It was this rather ‘unconventional’ information that kept me sane.An email support group introduced me to a wonderful lady, who was to become our surrogate. We are now the proud parents of a beautiful daughter. GracePost-menopausal women, and women who have no desire to mother are often more pragmatic about removal of the womb and loss of fertility, although some may see it as a loss of their ‘femaleness’. Resumption of other life activities takes priority.Regardless of our state of fertility, our ability to love, to nurture, to make a meaningful contribution to our world can still be achieved. We acknowledge that in the early stages of loss, the process of grieving is essential but distorts this thinking. In time, most women come to terms with the loss and put their energies into other pursuits.*41/144/5*
